Haiku for Understanding

As I mentioned before, my children are adopted from the foster care system here in Michigan. They were removed from a dangerous situation and placed in foster care. More than two years later they were up for adoption. Another year and a half and my husband and I find them.  It's a hard way to start out. They have come a long way from the first time we met. And their futures are brighter. 

Today I heard an adoptive mother talk about her journey with her daughter. She presented several issues I can relate to with our children. On one of the handouts was a sentence that spoke to me. It read "Fear will bully your child into poor behavior." This is very timely for me. Our daughter is going through a time that scares her, and, yes, poor behaviors have upped. Her best friends, and unfortunately, only friends in the neighborhood moved far away today. She's afraid she will never have anyone to play with. She's afraid the girls will forget her. She's afraid of feeling lonely. In a way, she is reliving her earlier abandonment, which frightens her.

Today I write a haiku that asks for patience and understanding, especially when dealing with trying behaviors that stem from a little girl's fear. 

Try to ease the fears

She's scared. He's afraid. Distressed.

Be their safe haven.

Haiku about Talking about Birds & Bees

About a week ago, my daughter asked "Dawn, how are babies made anyway?" I told her something about the mom and the dad get together and make the baby. "Oh, okay," and she bounces out the room. Next day's question: "Dawn, how do the mom and the dad make the baby anyway?" I answered that we would sit down later and talk about it. I explained we needed time because it's kinda complicated. And then I said, "Let's go to the bookstore!" I was going to need visuals and a guide. And we did, and she picked out three biographies and I picked out a great guide for 'our talk.'

Off and on now for a week or so my daughter and I discussed the differences in male and female anatomies, about sperm and eggs, and a lot about puberty and the process of ovulation. And we're only a fraction of the way through the book. It's slow moving with all her questions. I'm giving her time to process each lesson, and sure enough she comes back the next day with more questions. She is not embarrassed to ask, she speaks freely with no hesitation. And she is using the new words she learned. I'm enjoying our discussions and seeing her mind working.  It's a very bonding experience for us.

Today I write a haiku about teaching my little one about the birds and the bees, both of us wrapped up in our blankets sitting on the sofa and feeling cozy.

Feels so natural

Answering all her questions

About growing up.

Haiku for Daughter (2)

 We were on our drive to school when she asked about adopting. It started with her statement that she would like to adopt someone when she is old enough. "How do you do that? adopt someone?" was her first question. Then came the avalanche of more questions. "How did I end up having to be adopted?" "What did [biological dad] actually do to my brothers and me?" "What did [biological mom] have to do to get us back?" "Why couldn't she do it?" "What made her stop trying?" "No one could find her?" "So, they found her, where was she?" "Did someone force her to sign those papers?" "Did she divorce [biological dad]?" "Why didn't they take care of us?" "Why was I ever born to people like that?" Needless to say, I took her home. Scratch school off of today's list of things to do. Tears, talking, healing was on today's agenda. 

Today my haiku is to my daughter, who, after all these questions were answered to the best of my ability, said, crying, "It's  a sad story when you leave your biological parents.  I wish it didn't happen."

I wish you could be

wrapped in her arms feeling loved.

I hope I will do.

Haiku for Daughter (1)

This morning our daughter is very much on my mind. She is, as many have told us, adorable--big brown eyes, sweet smile, lovely curly hair. She can be delightful, and, wow, is she bright. She loves learning about animals, looking at maps, collecting shiny, sparkly things, creating artwork, and reading anything she get her hands on. She can be fun.

She also has another side of her--very sad, almost tormented side. It expresses itself with trying behaviors for parents. Lately, my patience and calm is indeed being tested. It's exhausting me. However, today I'm digging deep inside of me and trying to find that bit of persistence and stamina to live by the commitment I made to her on her adoption day. She needs me. 

So, today my haiku is for that bundle of ups and downs who is still sleeping in her pink and purple bedroom.

Pained, heart-brokened girl

Wish you could be happier

I’ll try to do more