Haiku for My Sister

Today is the first day in a week that I have felt like writing. My brain has been too busy processing some news I received last week to write. I've written over 60 posts, and there is a part of my life that is almost always there on my mind, and yet I've only mentioned it once here. And that was in my Haiku about a Last Visit post. It is a difficult one to write about because it is so emotional. It is my nephew's cancer. My brother-in-law writes about it a lot. He says it is therapeutic. It allows him to release some of those pent up feelings from time to time. One thing I have learned from creating these postings is that writing, indeed, can be therapeutic.

My nephew was diagnosed with neuroblastoma about two and a half years ago. He is six. Last week we found out the last treatment did not help the cancer. He has gone through all the treatments available to him save one. His cancer will be biopsied and studied, and we will find out if he is eligible for the study treatment in two weeks. We also found out that if the treatment is not available to him, or if he is too ill, or that it doesn't work, hospice will take over his care, and that his life will end in months or even weeks. It is an incredibly sad thing to hear. We have all known that this time would come eventually. It doesn't make a difference. Hope always reigns, of course. But....what can I say? It's been a long up and down ride of hope and disappointment for our family.

Today's haiku is a very hard one for me to write. It's a wish for my sister, who I love so much and who has this pain I wish I could remove with my words or deeds, but I can't--ever. 

I wish to carry 

Your bag of heartache awhile

To give you a rest.

Haiku about My Birthday

(This was meant to be posted March 2, 2013).

It's my birthday. Waking up early, I had one of the best gifts waiting for me. Mother Nature gave me a bright, sunny day, with a gorgeous blue sky. Just what I wanted, but didn't realize it until I saw it. Next, I received another little present. My family was kind enough to sleep in, so I had about three hours of solitude and silence to do as I pleased. Losing myself in computerland was first. Next, I caught two episodes of a favorite show. And finally, I took a long, hot shower. My lovelies stirred and woke up one by one.

I announced I was off to the store,shopping for myself by myself. Before the store, I visited with my mother. We chatted for about half an hour and she hugged and kissed me and doted on me by making me coffee and offering me something to eat. And of course, she had to tell me the annual story of the extra-ordinary numbers of hours of excruciating labor my birth had caused her. You see, as she puts it, I "wanted to stay in and didn't want to come out." After that, I went to the store. Just a handful of little things were on my list, so I mostly "window shopped." It was nice to go and not rush. I ran into three of my favorite male people, my brother-in-law and two of my nephews. More birthday wishes and two and a half hours later, I return home happy. Talked with my family about my excursion and handed out a little birthday candy and new hoodies I bought them. I got some hugs, and they showed me the birthday cake they made me (chocolate, white frosting).
 
After relaxing a little it was out to dinner. The children were splendid in the restaurant, like always, and we had a very nice conversation. Subjects ranged from a Pokemon video game, to how cool it would be to have the grinder type of salt and pepper shakers at home, to how gross an olive burger sounds and the kids can't believe their aunt would eat one. Home again after  a fast trip to the video store, present opened (very nice), and it was decided the cake would hold off until tomorrow. 

Youngest went to bed after a nice warm shower, looking a tad bit suspicious. I think she had a fleeting vision of the rest of us devouring the birthday cake without her. (No chance, kid). The males and I sat around at our electronics for a while. I read them some of my haiku postings, and they shared their virtual adventures. Later, I watched a movie with my beloved, while the boys watched one upstairs. And my day is just about done--a great day and one of the best birthdays in a long time.

Artwork by my daughter

Today's haiku is about my birthday, a day full peace and family.

What a lovely day!

And mine to do as I wish.

My Happy Birthday.

Haiku to My Aunt

One of the hardest times in my life was the final days of watching and waiting while my father died from kidney cancer. He died at home. We took care of him--my mother, my sisters, my grandma, my aunt and myself. We were together 24/7 tending to my father's physical needs. My sisters and I grew closer to our grandmother and aunt during these days. We did not know them very well. For some reason, extended family was not a big part of my childhood, and we visited rarely. If one good thing came out of my father's illness and subsequent death, it was that I came to know these strong, compassionate, resilient  women I was related to--my father's mother and sister.

It's been over 14 years, and my grandma has since passed. My aunt and I have kept in touch. Through facebook, we are sharing our lives with each other. I love that. We can laugh and celebrate and cry with each other with the help of technology. We have visited each other's homes, but not as often as we wish we could. She is an important part of our lives. I hope she realizes how special she has become to me over the years. She is my aunt, a tie to my father, a friend, and overall, a pretty terrific person.

Today's haiku is dedicated to my aunt, whose birthday is today, who I miss seeing, and I'm so happy we came to know each other, even if it was through sadness and grief.

We need to visit

And have dinner, and talk,

And laugh, face to face.

Haiku about Family Strength

All of us were running on fumes this afternoon. Oldest spent the night at a friend's house, and fell asleep around 3:00 in the morning. Middle also spent the night at some friends' house and fell asleep around five in the morning. Youngest stayed up at Grandma's until 12:00 midnight! Husband and I stayed up visiting with a friend. I didn't sleep until after 2:30. He fell asleep way after me. Needless to say, by 6:00 tonight during dinner, we were walking zombies, some of us more than others. 

What I noticed was that there were no conflicts, no sudden mood swings, no whining, no tears, no arguing. I have to admit, six months ago, there would have been conflict, mood swings, whining and more. Our children have come a long way in using self-control when they aren't feeling 100%, in admitting the fun they had came with the cost of lack of good sleep, and in taking care of themselves when they are tired.  We had a very pleasant dinner and evening. 

 Tonight, I am so grateful that we have all worked very hard in dealing with the past trauma our children brought with them. I am grateful for the strength we have all found in ourselves to heal and to help heal. Today's haiku is in celebration to the growth our family has made.

The past we address.

Together, we learn from it .

Healing. Blossoming,

Haiku about Family Dinner

I remember  back in my childhood, one of the things that we could count on is that dinner is around 5:30 and everyone eats together. I do not remember conversations in detail, but I remember having them. The food was in bowls or platters and we would pass them around. My dad would put tons of salt and pepper on his food. Us kids would try really hard not to make eating noises loud enough for my dad to hear, because he would get irritated. (I think I have the same problem. Look it up. It's called misophonia.) When we were finished, we would announce we were done and say "Thanks to God." And then we would kiss our mom thanks for the food.

At our house, with our kids, dinnertime is a little different. My husband and I try to have dinner with everyone as much as possible. We average about 4 or  5 times a week. Not nearly as often as in my childhood home. We have conversation. Like tonight we each told about something new in our life. These things were new: a back isn't hurting as much, two friends were convinced to join wrestling next year, a bedroom was streamlined by me, there are two cats out there at friends' homes that are as big as Katrina now (apparently a kitten has grown tremendously), and there was a refrigerator seen that would be awesome to have in our kitchen. We don't have bowls and platters; I pile on the food from the stove and the boys deliver the plates to the table. Yes, the eating noises bug me, but I don't think the kids are afraid to make them. I try to be polite and calm about it. Nobody kisses me thank you. Every once in a while I get a verbal thank you--but it's usually when I order pizza. 

Today let me present a haiku that is about family dinners. I love them, as long as everyone is getting along

Please pass the meatloaf.

Tell us what is new with you?

Hold on, I love fries.

 

Haiku about Words and Kids

 My oldest and I had a nice conversation about kids picking up their parents' vocabulary. I told him about some of the words I remember hearing pretty exclusively at our house growing up. When my dad didn't like what a person did, he called that person a "nincompoop." I don't remember anyone else ever using that word. I never used it, but I knew what it meant. Then there were the words we used that were old-fashioned words. We rarely used the word "refrigerator." It was always the "icebox." That's from my dad. He used that word; we used that word. Friends would ask me, "Why do you call it an icebox?"  I probably answered in a shrug and in my head said, "That's what it's called, you nincompoop." And then there are the words we thought were English, but were really Spanish. My mom used her Spanish words for items in the house. One of them was sabana. I think it wasn't until middle school when I realized it was a Spanish word and not just another English word for sheet. That's not bad, considering that when my sister was in her 20's, she asked a friend to hand her the sarten, and he had no idea what she was refering to. It wasn't until then that she realized that sarten is Spanish for frying pan., not a specific type of frying pan. It's funny, my oldest and I agreed, how my family vocabulary worked. 

I was thinking this morning about our influence on our children's way of speaking. They came to us older, already with their own way of talking, their own special words. Almost three years now, and I can hear ourselves in their speech and their choice of words.  "I'm really trying to make it to the top of this," the middle one says while playing a computer game, "but, so far, no cigar." I had to smile to myself. How many 14-year-olds would use that phrase today? Not many, I imagine. "but, no cigar" is a phrase heard in our house. I use it. He learned it from me. It's fun hearing our kids use "our words." The other day, I had to giggle to myself when the oldest asks me, "Dawn, do you mind if I ask [brother] to accompany me to the store?" I said of course not. I overhear him asking his brother, "When you're done here, would you like to accompany me to the store?" And the answer was not a simple "yeah." It was "Why, yes, I would." Such little gentlemen. Again, "accompany me" is one phrase my husband and I use. Even our youngest, would say something that we heard come out of our mouths. When she was six and  making a choice, she would say something like "I like both, but today I think I prefer this one." Our way of speaking--mine and my husband's. Hearing our words coming out of our kids' mouths makes us smile, giggle and sometimes we roll our eyes in amusement. I know, I know, it's fun now, but one day our words may come back to haunt us.

So, today my haiku is an invitation to our children to soak up our vocabulary.

Our words and phrases

Are yours to take, keep and share

(But, not the bad ones).