Haiku for My Body

I never really did have a body image problem growing up. Any self esteem issue I had about my physical self was restricted to my face mostly. However, for most of my adult life, I struggled with my body image. I remember when it started. My dad said to me, "What's going on? You're gaining a little weight." I was visiting home, after having been away]for a few months. I guess you could say that my version of the "freshman 15" hit me five years later. I can recall a knee-jerk reaction to his statement. A simple, innocent statement on my dad's part hit me like a ton of bricks. I am truly sorry, and he would have been devastated, that his few words handed me the full awareness of the flaws of my body. That body of mine was only 22  years old and was, of course, beautiful and healthy. It's too bad that at the time, I didn't see it that way.

Today, I saw this video of an 86 year old German woman performing a lovely gymnastic routine. I watched it with awe the first time. "Wow. Good for her." Then I watched it again, but with envy. "I wish I could do that now, at my age." Then, I read up on her and found that she is a professional athlete. Not to take anything away from her performance, it's just that she has been doing it all her life. Nevertheless, regret set in for a little while. Why at 22 didn't I begin taking better care of my body and remove myself from the express train to Plumpville? Or in my 30's? It would have been easier many years ago. Blah, blah, blah. I finally told myself to shut up and listen to the great Jennifer Aniston when she said, "There are no regrets in life, only lessons." So, what have I learned?  Well, I learned that a healthy, more comfortable body isn't going to fall into my lap and say, "Hey, try me on for size!" I have to go out and do myself a favor and make myself one.

So, after baring this personal aspect of myself, I present to you my haiku for today, which sounds like a regret. But, it is indeed a lesson.

If I knew then what 

I do now, I would have been 

better to this body.